Uncle Ho is my Hero

It’s our fourth in day in Hanoi, Vietnam and already I have lost of time. Yesterday morning I thought it was Thursday, but was surprised to be informed it was in fact Friday, not that it matters, because I haven’t got any plans in, say, four months. We arrived in Vietnam at 10:15am Wednesday morning to humid weather and very unfriendly army clerks that processed our travel documents. They looked mean in their uniform greens and I bet they would dissuade any traveller from making trouble in their country. Matthew and Gam picked us up from the airport and a thirty minute taxi ride later we arrive at their lovely home near West Lake. We were pre-warned that we would suffer from ‘culture shock’ when we got here, that the lifestyle would be too much for us to compute initially. Although life here in Hanoi is very different from Perth, Australia, it is nothing someone with an open mind and a sense of adventure can not adjust to. We are having a fantastic time here – we really love it. We wish we could stay longer than three weeks, but there is still so much to see and do. I love soaking up the atmosphere of small streets, seeing the people go about their lives, or having a lunch in a small place visited only by locals. And nothing beats trying new food and drinks.


The food is out-of-this-world-fan-fucking-tastic. We eat out all the time and you pay about a quarter of an equivalent meal in Australia. We have been eating a lot of Pho (fer), which is beef noodle soup, but we have also been indulging in rice, stems vegetables and seafood. Matt and Gam know some excellent places around town, so we haven’t been disappointed once. And it is much better than some of the alternatives, like street food that has been sitting out in the sun and pollution all day, covered with flies, or my personal favourite, meat of dog, tenderised by beating the dog while it is still alive. The man working on the stall didn’t welcome us taking photographs of it. Still, it is one of the only places left in the world that continue to do is, so for that I can at least be thankful.

Man's best friend: fried.

The best way to describe the road rules in Vietnam is to liken it to the Chaos Theory – a system that works despite the dictates of logic. People rarely indicate, they pull up into intersections when there is oncoming traffic and they swerve in and out of traffic, sometimes not even in the correct lane, with nothing more than a few honks of their horn, or a tap on their headlights. It’s organised chaos at its most triumphant, with an assortment of scooters, cars and buses all competing for a little traffic space. And you would think it would scare the wits out of a Westerner, but the only thing you have to worry about is tucking your knees in when you get close to a car or a bus. We have been getting around on the back of a scooter and hiring taxis, which is extremely cheap (roughly 55000 Dong into town, which converts into just under $4) but Matt and Gam also have a personal driver who picks one of us up on the back of his scooter. Today, we went into the Ho Chi Min area of town which has a lot of communist related establishments and temples. I road on Gam’s bicycle, which was fuchsia-pink and has a baby carriage on the back, down to this area in the midst of Hanoi’s usual traffic craziness. The trip was roughly 10 km in length and by the end of it I was exhausted, owing to my total lack of fitness. The best advice I can give is to have faith you are not going to get hit every 5 seconds, do what the locals do and if all else fails, just yell at people to let them know you're there.

Other tourists are really pissing us off. We went into the Old Quarter, which is the shopping district of Hanoi, on the advice of the Lonely Plant guide. It is nothing but a pathetic excuse to con naïve and stupid tourists out of their money. I really disliked it. It is the epitome of travelling artifice. Vietnamese line the street trying to shepard you into their shops, or buy post cards, travel books and street food. You have to tell them no about ten times before they leave you alone. Although being hassled is rather annoying, I think I despise the idiotic tourists more, who think they are having a travelling experience by staying in expensive accommodation, going on tour guides, riding in pedicars and being ripped off. Not only that, but a lot of tourists, especially Chinese tourists, are extremely disrespectful of the Vietnamese culture. When we went to the Temple of Literature, which is a school of Confucian doctrines, we saw one person smoking at the threshold of a sacred temple and others hugging Bonsai trees that had to be hundreds of years old. It makes me sad, but I guess I should ignore humanities flaws and concentrate on the good things this country has to offer.



PLEASE NOTE: THIS TEMPLE IS SARCRED AND NEARLY 1000 YEARS OLD. THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T SMOKE AROUND IT AND BEHAVIOUR IN A DISREPECTFUL MANNER. YOU EMBARRESS ME AS A FELLOW TRAVELLER.

I got my Travelling Shoes on.

When I first tell people I am travelling through Asia and Europe for four months, I usually get a response like, “Four months, wow, I’m jealous”. And you should be. While you’re counting down the hours at work or trying to dislodge yourself from that overweight and odorous man on the train, Anouska and I will be in another country, without a thought of a care. Sure, we still have responsibilities, but those are minimal to the stress of work and paying the bills. Not to say that travelling doesn’t present its own difficulties like, what city should we go to next? Or, what culinary feast should we gorge ourselves on this time? Or even, we have to see another historical building of Antiquity? Life is hard.

It’s 7:30am on the day of our flight and I am performing my daily, morning routine of being on the computer with a large cup of tea besides me. Except, this is the last time I will do this till late in January 2009. I am not sure how I feel about this. Oh hell, I know exactly how I feel about it. Good. Really good. I spend way too much of my life indulging in triviality and now I am going to immerse myself in the rich tapestry of the world. My cat, Ziggy Stardust is sitting by the door meowing. I think she is trying to tell me something. Perhaps, I will miss you Daddy? I doubt it. It’s fair to say that she is probably indicating that she wants to go outside and roll in another animal’s excrement.

So, we have converted our worldly possessions to a couple of backpacks. A few sets of clothes, a small selection of books and a few toiletries and necessities are all have with us for the next few months. We are literally carrying our homes on our back like a tortoise, except we can’t hide in it if one of the locals get mad at us for sitting on their special bench or when we desecrate a national icon by thinking that the Tate museum is large, expensive, yet interesting toilet. But seriously, not having to worry about a house or personal property is liberating. I think all those religious folk were on to something when they discarded all their worldly possessions. But then again, wearing a silly outfit and going around chanting, “God is good”, doesn’t sound that fun to me either. However, I cannot say we are that organised in packing. Anouska wanted to make lists, like she does, to ensure that we checked off everything we were taking. I, on the other hand, threw everything into my bag in ten minutes and hoped for the best.

To say we are excited to go is an understatement. You can probably tell by the set of photographs attached with this blog. Anouska is so excited, she's out of focus. We have worked full time in less than interesting jobs over the past year to finance this expedition. What was our reason to do it? I wish I could weave a fascinating story about self discovery overseas or the need to see other cultures, but I would have to admit we are doing it out of sheer jealousy. When I hear of some other people travelling overseas, this is a familiar monologue that would run through my mind. “You went overseas? You! But you’re an uncultured simpleton who no doubt spent the entire trip getting drunk and visiting overseas McDonald’s branches. I will show you how it is done. Ok?” And that’s basically how we got where we are today.

Check in with us for weekly updates. Take care, friends and family. I will see you next year.